She Loves Me
by Jennifer Wand
Summary: A songfic set during the first season,


  
Darien's heart sang. Sang? It simply soared.   
  
The usually shy and reticent college student walked atop a ledge,  
glasses perched jauntily on his pointed nose. As if six-year-old Darien  
had taken over his older counterpart's favorite green jacket, an eagerly  
cocky daredevil seemingly reborn. Amidst the buzzing streetlamps of early  
October, in moonlight's glow, Darien walked atop a stone wall, sparkling.   
Mon dieu, he thought suddenly, and then laughed out loud at  
himself. This was strange! It must be the pull of the moon shining so  
brazenly in the sky... there was no other explanation for the sudden  
appearance of this imp controlling him. The things he had done tonight!  
They were not things he DID. They were not things he'd ever THINK of  
doing. But somehow he was sure they'd actually happened. And why on  
earth would it all leave him so giddy? Inexplicably, the words to an old  
showtune found their way into his head, and he followed their flow to the  
horizon.  
  
*  
  
Well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well...  
  
Will wonders never cease?  
  
*  
  
The Rainbow Crystal. He'd lost another. Zoycite's cruel laugh  
rang in his ears as he leapt off into the moonlight. And even worse, the  
sweet voice of Sailor Moon, the voice he'd had to refuse when she asked  
for the one thing he couldn't give her. "The Rainbow Crystal you have...  
could you give that to me?" The golden locket glittered yes at him, but  
despite his melting eyes, he hid behind the cold facade of the mask. How  
had she gotten that locket anyway? And why did he feel it belonged to  
him, though he couldn't remember ever having such a gaudy trinket?  
Vaguely, he remembered it being pressed into his hand by someone's warm  
fingers, and then his hand closing over hers...  
Hers?   
Darien frowned as he stood in the shadows near the construction  
site. He'd long since transformed back, and eavesdropped as the Sailors  
finished their work and dispersed. But still he leaned against the fence,  
one foot flat against it, arms crossed, lost in thought. Why did he think  
the fingers had to be female ones? Perhaps the woman in his dream had  
given it to him? But it seemed so right to give it back to Sailor Moon  
(back? she wasn't the owner, was she?) Question mark over question mark,  
folding like endless braids of long hair in his mind, long hair like the  
girl in his dreams, the girl of his dreams, but...  
"Yoo-hoo!"  
The shriek was shrill enough to rouse him. "Yow," he said,  
putting a hand to his head. "Couldn't you have just said hello, Meatball  
Head?"  
"I did," Serena pouted, coming into the light. "Three times.  
What planet were YOU on?" Had it been anyone else, Darien would have  
caught his breath at the sight of the tiny figure, curves accented and  
hair bleached in moonlight. But he knew her too well to even consider  
it... or to consider that she was the only one he could imagine in such an  
unearthly glow. "In any case," she went on, "just because YOU'RE a space  
cadet, you don't have to call ME Meatball Head. You know I hate that."  
"You're one to talk about space cadets," he said pointedly. "Miss  
Thirty Percent."  
"Ooo!" she growled. "You'd HAVE to bring that up, wouldn't you?  
Mister I Date Junior High Girls Because I Can't Get A Date At College!"   
Darien froze, irked. Serena wore a triumphant smile. That is,  
until he countered with "Of course I do. It's my job, Miss Junior High  
School Girl That Even Darien Wouldn't Date."  
  
  
*  
  
I didn't like her.  
Didn't like her? I couldn't stand her!  
Couldn't stand her? I wouldn't have her!  
I never knew her!  
  
*  
  
"For your information," Serena grumbled, "I am already interested  
in someone. TWO guys, actually. And neither of them are you."   
The clouds shifted over the moon, and the streetlight flickered,  
making shadows fall over the pair. It would be a long while before Serena  
realized she had settled against the fence right beside him, as if that  
space was hers by right. For now, she was merely staring at the ground,  
making annoyed harrumphs of various sorts as the verbal game of tag  
continued.   
"Mm, hm," Darien mused, chin tilted up toward the northern sky.  
"And why do I get the feeling they're not interested back?"  
Without looking down, he knew exactly what her pout looked like:  
indignant fists and rueful, glittering eyes. "They are! They're both  
really really nice to me. One of them always helps me with the Sailor V  
Game, and the other..."  
"Um," Darien cleared his throat uncomfortably, "Andrew has a g..."  
"...there to save me whenever I get in trouble!" an oblivious  
Serena finished.  
Darien shrugged and fell silent.  
  
It was several quiet moments before Serena looked up  
uncomfortably. "Umm..." she said.  
"Umm what?"   
She pondered his face cautiously. The look in his eyes was  
slightly glazed, and what was stranger, his deep blue eyes were fixed on  
her. It made her shudder to know that he was looking at her so carefully.  
"Why are you being so quiet? It creeps me out. Don't you have anything  
else left to tease me about?"  
The color rose slowly in Darien's cheeks as he realized how long  
he'd been standing there, just looking at her, hardly even conscious. She  
had turned her face to the sky, as if contemplating the constellations,  
and he had been unable to do anything but study her, memorizing the curl  
of an errant strand of hair against her cheek, the way her lips fell into  
a slight pout when they relaxed, the precise shade of blue in her eyes  
that seemed it was always moving. Now, brought back to reality, he was  
painfully aware of his pulse speeding up and the blood rushing to his  
face. "Uh..." he said, unable to make any other sound.  
Her exquisite (exquisite?!?) face curved suddenly in delight.  
"You're blushing!" she squealed. "Oh my god, that is so cute! That is  
so funny, Darien, you're blushing!" She let loose gales of laughter, and  
he blushed further and looked away. But as her giggles cascaded on and  
on, he had the curious sensation of being submerged, as if each syllable  
in the torrent was a bubble floating toward him to envelop him. He felt  
strangely buoyant.  
Giggles relaxed into sighs, and she clutched her stomach,  
grinning, and leaned back again. One hand reached up to wipe the corner  
of her eye. "Oh, lord," she breathed, "I haven't laughed that hard in  
ages..."   
"So glad to be a constant source of amusement to you, my lady," he  
said flatly. Then, in the next second, unbeknownst to each other, they  
both caught their breath.  
...Cute?...  
...My lady?...  
  
*  
  
But now I do!  
And I would,  
And I could,  
And I know...  
  
**  
  
SHE LOVES ME  
  
(A Sailor Moon quasi-songfic by Jennifer Wand)  
  
She Loves Me is one of the great underrated Broadway shows. About two  
people who fall in love by letter, but don't realize that their penpal is  
actually the co-worker they despise. It's full of games and great songs,  
not the least of which is the title tune on which this fic is based.  
Highly recommended to all.  
  
P.S. This fic is set between the fight scenes and the final scenes in "An  
Artful Attack," the DIC-dubbed episode. I refuse to apologize for any DIC  
names, references, or characterizations. Relax.  
  
  
**  
  
Serena found herself gazing up at the construction site, memory  
placing her back on that beam where a tentative conversation had taken  
place. The moon had illuminated their forms, just a few short minutes  
ago, and now it was so distressingly empty. It looked as if it missed  
them.  
When their fingers had met over the glittering star locket, racing  
tendrils of warmth had spun so suddenly up her arms that all at once she  
was dizzy and afraid of falling. Face to face with him. Quietly. And  
they'd connected. She'd felt it. But as soon as it had appeared, it was  
gone, and he was the stone-cold protector once more. Spitting words about  
his own agenda and leaving her there shivering. How could he close  
himself off like that? And why would he want to?  
She sighed audibly, and Darien gave her a curious look. Feeling  
his gaze, she turned and gave him a huge grin, laughing nervously.  
"Thinking about one of your secret crushes?" he asked, raising an eyebrow  
in the manner of a gossip reporter smelling scandal.  
"I don't get him," she pouted. "What is up with that Tuxedo Mask  
anyway?"  
Darien's pulse leapt to his throat. "Tuxedo... Mask?" he  
repeated. "Do you know him?"   
She blushed nearly magenta and laughed long and stiffly. "What?  
Like, even!" she sang. "I just think he's dreamy. I mean, everyone does!  
But I'm his biggest fan, totally." She blithered away, practically on  
autopilot, as Darien watched her incredulously. "He's just too gorgeous!  
I just can't figure out what he's about, ya know? Why he does what he  
does."  
"So that's the other guy you like," Darien said, a tad hopefully.  
She just kept on babbling. Which meant, of course, that the  
answer was Yes.  
'Neither of them is you,' huh? Wrong, meatball head. One of them  
is very much me.  
  
*  
  
She loves me!  
And to my amazement,  
I love it  
knowing that she loves me.  
  
*  
  
Darien grinned. His chest felt like a shaken-up soda bottle.  
Fizz, fizz, fizz, against the roof... "Whoa!" he exclaimed, giving a long,  
low whistle. "You set your sights pretty high, don't you?"  
Serena started angrily, then stopped, as if just remembering  
something. "Jerk," she mumbled, pouting.  
In the meantime, Darien's perception of her had subtly changed.  
Now he was looking at her not as Serena, The Girl Who Hates Me, but  
Serena, The Girl Who Likes Me. And he was thrown into the heart-thudding  
cycles of I Wonder If There's Anything There To Build On. So he looked at  
her, this time consciously trying to examine the girl who liked him so  
much, to find beauty. And he found it almost immediately in her tender  
little pout.  
Beating down the sudden fire in his fists, he brought them stiffly  
to his sides. "You even know the guy?" he asked, raising an eyebrow.  
"He's a superhero, Meatball Head. He's probably not even real."  
"He is real!" she insisted, her eyes flashing blue fire. "I've  
seen him!"  
Darien gave a nod and a long, sarcastic drawl. "Uhh-huh."   
"I have so! C'mon, Darien, everyone knows the Sailor Scouts are  
real, right? Well, he shows up with them sometimes! I know cause..." she  
stammered, her cheeks flushed... "because I was there one time when they  
attacked, um, a comic store I was in, and he showed up! It was awesome!"  
Did I ever help them out in a comic store? he wondered briefly. I  
don't remember something like that happening... "And he took one look at  
you and swore he'd love you forever, right?"  
"Jerk!" That pout again. "Like you don't have a crush on a Sailor  
Scout. Evvv-ery guy does. Which one is your type, I wonder... Hah!" She  
pointed triumphantly up at him. "I bet you like Sailor Mars best, don't  
you? Yah, you'd like someone who's a brat like you."  
The words rolled softly off his tongue before he had time to  
think. "Well, actually, I think Sailor Moon is terrific."  
Serena's face went bright red.  
  
*  
  
She loves me!  
True, she doesn't show it--  
How could she,  
when she doesn't know it?  
  
*  
  
They had wandered down the street, headed in some unknown  
direction, just strolling without thinking. Now a Don't Walk signal  
impeded their progress, and he watched her reflection in a dark,  
red-tinted puddle. She leaned against a lamppost, a bemused expression on  
her face. "Never thought Sailor Moon was your type," she said slowly.  
"Oh, yeah," Darien smiled. "How could I resist a girl with  
meatballs on her head just like yours? Anyway," he continued, never  
noticing her rage and subsequent shock, "she's got-- I don't know, stage  
presence, I guess. Have you ever seen her do that I Will Punish You  
thing? It was great. I'm still trying to remember the way her arms went."  
He attempted the fateful pose as he talked, bending an elbow and pointing  
a finger up, down, to the side, practically poking himself in the eye,  
twisting himself into all kinds of silly positions. Serena giggled, and  
Darien froze at the sound of her voice. All bells. All bells.  
"Don't try so hard," she said through peals of sweet laughter. "I  
don't think you're cut out for the job." Darien stopped his attempts and  
turned to her with a hurt expression. "No offense," Serena grinned in  
response to the look, "but I just can't see you in one of those skirts!"  
"Oh, I used to model," Darien gave an aloof little toss of the  
head. "I'm sure I could look good in anything if I wanted to."  
"You'd look good," she said pointedly, "with a head a little  
smaller than a BLIMP."  
"Ah, but that's what you're for! Whenever I get too high on  
myself, you're always there to insult me and deflate my ego a little."  
"Yup, that's my job," she agreed, nodding importantly.  
"And you have fun doing it," he rejoined, grinning.  
Her grin rose up to meet his. "You bet."  
  
There was an awkward silence.  
  
*   
  
Yesterday she loathed me-- Bah!  
Now today she likes me. Ha!  
And tomorrow...  
Tomorrow, oh...  
  
*  
  
"All right then," Darien finally exclaimed. "I always wondered why  
I was on this earth, and now I know. I'm an endless source of amusement  
for Meatball Head Serena. At least I'm good for something."  
"Not very much," Serena retorted, but she was openly grinning now.  
Darien grinned back at her, his eyes glittering in the lamplight. This  
was fun, he realized abruptly. This little game of theirs was damned fun.  
He felt as though he were in some great tournament, that his whole life  
depended on the next turn of phrase. How long could he keep it up without  
melting? He was a shudder of goosebumps. His sweat rained down cold. He  
could hardly keep his eyes steady. But this was the tournament of  
champions. And he couldn't give up. Because if he did, he'd...  
"Dear God," he muttered out loud, averting his eyes.  
"Huh?"  
He shook his head silently. But his brain was loudly protesting,  
demanding he finish his sentence. Giving up meant giving in to...  
  
*  
  
My teeth ache  
From the urge to touch her.  
I'm speechless,  
for I mustn't tell her.  
It's wrong now...  
  
*  
  
"You know," he suddenly blurted out, "I know Tuxedo Mask really  
well."  
She rolled her eyes and kept walking.  
"Yeah, he's a good friend of mine, you know." He stretched his  
arms and folded them behind his head leisurely. "He's a really great guy,  
actually. And he's been watching you for ages."  
"Uh-huh," Serena said flatly, not breaking her stride.  
"Okay, maybe that's a lie. He is crazy about Sailor Moon, though.  
No kidding there." Darien sounded a good deal more serious than he  
intended to, and that caught Serena's attention. She blushed and stopped.  
Darien half-smirked, immediately regretting what he'd said but finding it  
hard to berate himself for it when her face lit up the way it did. It was  
too irresistible for him to wish he hadn't provoked it.  
Finally, her face fell again. "Just now you said you didn't think  
he existed." Her tone and expression reverted to its usual haughtiness.  
"Uh..." Darien's mind raced. "Well, he's got a secret identity,  
you know. He can't have me going around telling people I know him. But,  
seriously!" He found himself speaking faster, more earnestly, trying to  
get her to believe him, like a kid convinced he'd seen a UFO. "He's  
totally in love with Sailor Moon. He thinks she is just the greatest.  
Just like me."  
Serena's heart froze. Just like...  
  
*  
  
But it won't be long now,  
until my love discovers  
that she and I are lovers--  
imagine how surprised she's bound to be--  
she loves me, she loves me!  
  
*  
  
He's so cold, Serena had thought when Tuxedo Mask turned abruptly  
and flew away. Like Darien... no way!  
And those were the thoughts in her head once more. No way! She  
looked back at Darien to reassure herself that it couldn't possibly be.  
His form lanky and smooth in the dim glow of the streetlamp. His  
features delicately illuminated, like some carefully crafted statue. And  
the hope and hesitation in his dark eyes-- no, she realized with a  
shudder, his eyes were blue. Bright, deep blue. And there was no more  
Tuxedo Mask in her mind.  
Darien watched her watching him. Like two mirrors facing each  
other and creating infinite layers of reflections, he saw a million of her  
and another million of him. He trembled as he realized that she was truly  
seeing him, perhaps for the first time. She was looking at him with  
blank, unbiased eyes, no longer clouded by circumstance and past  
bickerings. And as for Darien... he had no choice but to answer her gaze.  
And in answering it, he found his answer as well.  
  
*  
  
I love her!  
Isn't that a wonder?  
  
*  
  
"Uhh," Serena started, a dull sound penetrating the dull muteness  
of the gray night. Darien started as though waking from a deep slumber.  
"Let's go see how Peggy's doing!" The big paper smile was plastered to her  
face again, and she began to half-walk, half-skip down the road. Life  
snapped back into focus, and Darien followed her, running. But Serena  
sped up, starting to laugh, staying several steps ahead of him. Darien  
half-smiled and muttered in a warning tone,  
"Okay..."  
Serena took the hint and ran for her life.  
He ran full speed down the street, in hot pursuit of the laughing  
blonde. She jumped atop a bench to keep away from him, turning to make  
faces at him when she had eluded his grasp once more. Darien was utterly  
addicted. His brain was gone. All he could think was  
mygodshe'ssobeautifulmygodshe'ssobeautiful. The times when he had been  
disgusted by her, annoyed with her... they couldn't possibly have existed.  
It just didn't make sense. How could he have ever looked at her without  
seeing those angel wings on her shoulders? Because now, they were all he  
could see...  
  
*  
  
I wonder   
why I didn't want her.  
I want her!  
That's the thing that matters...  
and matters  
are improving daily!  
  
*  
  
His hand swiped close to hers, but closed around air. Panting, he  
fell forward, staggering to keep his balance. She shrieked. Turning  
suddenly, he picked up new momentum and went straight for her waist. That  
time, his fingers brushed the cloth of her shirt. The touch vibrated up  
his arm, and in the moment of confusion, she slipped away again. "Damn  
you, child..." he muttered savagely. She stopped and made a puzzled face.  
Darien saw his opening.  
With all the remaining strength in his body, he lunged forward and  
wrapped his arms around her, holding her fast. She struggled, but it was  
obvious the game was over. Now standing still, they both felt the  
exhaustion catch up with them. Darien's head hung limp on Serena's  
quivering shoulder, his breathing coming fast and short. A thin sheen of  
sweat glistened on his collar. The sleeves of his shirt clung fast to his  
arms. Serena's head was tilted towards the sky, her face pink, as she  
gasped for some of the cool night air. Her eyes instinctively fixed on  
the bright moon. She gasped once, twice, shallowly, and her hands came  
down to grab the bottom of his shirt in order to keep from falling over.  
For several seconds they stood like that, grasping each other, trying hard  
to breathe. Her hands were small and hot on his stomach.  
After a while, she gave a thin giggle. "Darien, you're so  
obnoxious," she said weakly. The final gunshot before the white flag was  
raised.  
  
*  
  
Yesterday I loathed her-- pooh.  
Now today I love her. Whoo!  
And tomorrow,  
tomorrow, oh!  
  
*  
  
Darien slowly regained his breath as he heard her giggle and  
whisper next to him. His arms, wrapped around her shoulders, fell to the  
small of her back, and she gasped. He tightened his grip.  
He was caught in a tide too strong to fight. He heard only the  
roaring of the seashell-waves in his blood, in his wrists, in his ears.  
It was so, so, warm. A red tide. His eyes were fixed on the spot where  
her shirt gave way to peach skin of her neck. Like shore to a drowning  
man. He wanted it so very badly.  
With pain, with regret, he slowly lifted his head, watching that  
shoreline retreat beneath the ever-heightening tide. Her hair brushed  
past his. Then against his bare skin... silk!... and he had to bite his  
lip. Gingerly, he started to withdraw from this comfortable position  
wrapped around her.  
But then his cheek touched hers.  
Darien's hands came up immediately to hold her face. He pressed  
it to his, feeling the flushed warmth of her skin against the seeming  
coldness of his, feeling as close to true warmth as he had ever been.  
Some chord sounded in him, deep and resonant, like the tones of an organ.  
He exhaled loudly. His eyes were wet.  
She felt the animal grasp of his trembling hands like a rush of  
wildfire and fear through her. Not knowing what was going on, not knowing  
what he was doing or thinking or what he wanted, she lifted her arms to  
clutch the back of his shirt in terror. Her little hands shook like  
leaves in a gale, and she took fistfuls of fabric to hold herself  
together. And all the time, his smooth, huge cheek was against hers,  
transmitting warmth into her, like a blanket or a warm cloth or a  
hearthfire, but something completely unfamiliar at the same time. Her  
breaths slowed and stopped.  
When did they break apart? Darien didn't remember. He must have  
said something, or she did, because all at once the warmth was gone and he  
was walking alongside her once more. She was grinning up at him, and it  
made his heart leap to look at her. She was a vision. Darien could have  
sworn he felt her blood circulate-- lucky, lucky fluid, to give life to  
someone with so much life. He wanted to be running madly through her  
veins too.  
"C'mon, let's hurry up and get to Peggy's," she had said suddenly.  
That was it. And he had let go and nodded. After the warmth of her  
embrace, the night had seemed suddenly, bitterly cold. But even so...  
Oh, what on earth was that? What on earth just happened to him?  
A clear inner voice said quietly, "Do you really care?"  
Darien grinned. Nope. Not a bit.  
**  
  
I'm tingling  
such delicious tingles.  
I'm trembling--  
what the hell does that mean?  
I'm freezing--  
(that's because it's cold out!)  
But still I'm incandescent  
and like some adolescent  
I want to scrawl on every wall I see...  
"She loves me!"  
**  
  
So they went to see Peggy, and they scrapped like a couple of  
angry pigeons over a bread crumb, and Serena blushed at the sight of  
herself in the painting. And the next day it would all be the same as it  
was before. But tonight...  
  
Well, well, well, well, well. Darien, you old stodgy college boy,  
you. You've gone and done it.   
  
You've gone and fallen in love.  
  
Will wonders never cease?  
  
Darien paused on the edge of the cobblestone wall. His arms  
spread wide, he breathed in the chilly October air and watched, amazed, as  
his breath came forth in a tiny white puff. From here he could see the  
footbridge, the distant fronds of Fairview's pines, the wiry top of Tokyo  
Tower. Vega sparkled high above his head as he craned his neck upwards to  
gaze at the zenith. He grinned at it. Grinned at everything. And in a  
clear voice, he announced to the ecstatic universe:  
  
**  
  
She loves me!  
  
**  
  
THE END  
  
Tee-hee!! This one was a no-brainer, but I bet you all should appreciate  
it. :-) Jaa! :-)  
  
  



End file.
